me when my computer was new:
*gives computer its own room, carefully places pillows around, NOT blocking the fans of course, cleans interior every weekend, reads it bedtime stories and kisses it goodnight*
me now:
*puts sandwich on main vent and listens to the crumbs bounce off my motherboard* yes. eat. grow strong like your father
What gay movies are:
attractive, but shy guy meets attractive, but shallow guy. There's a lot of sex and it probably ends sad.
What lesbian movies are:
blonde girl who is about to marry her loving fiance suddenly falls in love with the dark haired wild lesbian. There's a high chance that at least one of them dies at the end (probably the dark haired one).
What other queer movies are:
???????!? Do they even exist?
What queer movies should be:
Bisexual space pirates save the universe. Genderfluid kid is the protagonist of a teen rom com. Transboy travels the world to make good music and meet interesting people. Asexual demigirl kicks ass in her secret super hero identity. Polyamorous squad goes on a fantasy adventure with dragons and quests. Not everyone is white and able-bodied and a walking stereotype. Queer ladies live. Happy Endings.
distant relative at family event:
It's been so long since I saw you!! How's school?
me:
none of the things that once excited me make me happy anymore i'm living off caffeine and anxiety i'm paralyzed by my future my diet is trash and my body is slowly rotting but otherwise i'm good hbu
Things That Can Make Your/Someone Else’s Life Easier/Better
1) Only get gas earlier in the morning. Gas is stored underground and in the early AM it is at its most dense and will give you more gas for your dollar.
2) See a clearly drunk driver on the road? Get their license plate and call 1-800-GRAB-DUI to report them.
3) If your marker is really dry when you need to use it place the marker tip in rubbing alcohol for 15 minutes. Moisture will return to the tip and the marker will work if there’s ink inside.
4) When your gas meter reaches “E” you should get to a gas station as soon as possible. But also keep in mind that most car and truck models are designed to drive roughly another 30 miles before they officially run out of gas.
5) Leave your dishes in hot water with soap in your sink right after using them, it will take away all the time it would have taken to scrub off hard/dry areas that are difficult to get off.
6) Create an emergency kit. Having one in your car is always a great idea. You can put band-aids, gum, toothpaste, small things that you will definitely need in emergencies. Also, super glue can be used to close a wound or cut. It stops the bleeding, reduces scarring and holds things together until you can get help, but only use it in case of an emergency.
7) Color code things. You may not be organized, but color coding your keys with nail polish can really make your life a bit easier, you never know.
8) Right-click a youtube video and select “pop-out”. The YouTube video then pops out into it’s own re-sizable window with TV controls.
9) Use your cellphone flashlight underneath a water bottle to create a lantern that distributes light.
10) Switch your phone to “airplane mode” before you charge it. Your phone will charge much faster. You can also just simply turn your phone off. The charging time can be effected by the charger you’re using. Plugging your charger into a wall is faster than plugging a USB into a computer. Also try to keep your phone out of warm temperatures, such as your pocket or in the sun, believe it or not, your phone would like some fresh air. (read this for more info)
11) Tie a bright-colored fabric onto your luggage. It will speed up the process of looking for it in the baggage pick-up area at the airport.
12) When you want to cross out words that you don’t want someone to be able to read, instead of putting lines through the words, just write random letters over your original words so you can’t tell what it said at all.
13) Put a treat on your grocery list. You will be less likely to buy too many treats and everyone deserves to treat themselves once in a while.
14) Leave $5 or $10 in a coat pocket and try to forget about it so that you could find it as a surprise in the future.
15) Have some money directly transferred from your paycheck to your savings. Even if it’s just $10 at a time, it can add up to make a great start.
16) Before you get in a taxi, take a picture of the license plate. You will have a much easier time tracking it down. As a matter of fact, taking a picture of a license plate before you get into any car that isn’t your own can come in handy in unexpected situations.
17) Keep scissors in every room. You won’t have to walk all the way to your kitchen to cut the annoying tag off your new shirt.
18) Drink some water and exercise when you wake up. It tends to keep your motivation up more frequently.
19) Change your sheets and really get more sleep, but not too much. There’s no better feeling than the coziness of your sheets and just enough sleep. Also, put your clothes on right when it comes out of the dryer, you’re welcome.
20) Do one of your favorite childhood activities. By recalling your stress-free days again, you can feel like you’re a kid again.
21) Use your sunglasses as a phone stand when you’re tired of holding it.
22) Take a picture of important things you could lose or need to remember such as schedules, business cards, phone numbers, things you owe/others owe, security question answers, etc.
23) Keep a card with your medical information in your wallet, it could save your life.
24) Color code things. You may not be organized, but color coding your keys with nail polish can really make your life a bit easier, you never know.
25) When traveling, keep a bar of soap in smelly areas such as dirty laundry, it will leave it smelling like fresh laundry!
26) Bounce batteries to see if their good or bad. (read this to see how it works)
27) Use bread clips to save your flip flop from a split hole. (like this)
28) Do something you don’t tend to do and finish it. It can be reading a book or trying to draw something or even just something completely new to you. You may learn to like it and you will feel so much better if you finish it. Mine would probably be cleaning my room, or just organizing things like life in general.
29) Do random acts of kindness. Not only can it make someone else’s day better, but trust me, it can make your day a lot better as well. You never know when someone will feel the need to give back. Even if it’s just a simple note on a vending machine that says have a good day or adding a smiley face to a text, just know there will be someone who really needs that reassurance somewhere.
30) When using a cookbook while cooking, use a pants hanger to clip on the cookbook and hang it onto a kitchen cabinet knob.
31) Add a teaspoon of baking soda to your water for the shell of a boiled egg to come off effortlessly.
32) Use your hair straightener to iron your clothes.
33) When you’re on vacation and you don’t have a phone charger, ask the front desk of your hotel if they have found any lost chargers because they tend to keep all the chargers that have been left in the hotel rooms in a box.
34) Use an accented letter in your passwords, no one guesses that.
35) Walk with your toes pointed up while walking in the dark so you don’t stub your toes. I mean I still tripped, but it’s definitely not as bad as stubbing my toe.
Hey, if you still miss your pet that is okay. I don’t care if it is years later and you still cry because they were not there this morning to greet you in that one of a kind way they did. It isn’t trivial, it isn’t stupid, and you are not weak.
