ximbatmanshhh:

siryouarebeingmocked:

• “Hello, 9/11, my wife is coming at me with a machete! She said something about collecting my testicles, shoving them down my throat then chopping my head off!”
• “Help is on the way. Where are you?”
• “I’m locked in the bathroom, but I think she’s going to get through!”
• “Is there anything you can use to defend yourself?”
• “What do you think I am, some kind of misogynist?

Reaction img source, dialup/data plan warning.

I have only hit a woman once. Ever.

She attacked me with a knife. I was arrested.

Despite this, if anyone, man or woman, attacks you with malicious intent, I fully advocate that you defend yourself to the best of your abilities. Fuck that you were taught to “never hit women”. Your well being is more important than an inherently sexist moral lesson.