Aries SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT MOONMEN

Taurus Listen, if you ever need anybody murdered please give me a call. I am very discreet, I have no code of ethics. I will kill anyone, anywhere. Children, animals, old people. Doesn’t matter. I just love killin’.

Gemini If I wanted to be sober I wouldn’t have gotten drunk.

Cancer WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUUUUUB

Leo No one exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, and everyone is gonna die someday. Come watch TV.

Virgo I’m going to go take a BIG Morty because after today’s events that’s what I’m calling shit!

Libra If I die in a cage I lose a bet.

Scorpio Two things I wanna make clear to everybody in this room: Never betray me, and it’s time to go.

Sagittarius Nintendo, give me free stuff!

Capricorn I don’t give a fuck what you think Jerry!

Aquarius Stupid ass carpet store fart saving motherfucker.

Pisces You dumb, stupid, weak, pathetic, white, white... uh-uhh... guilt... white-guilt, milquetoast... piece of human garbage.