tryingtokeepitinmypants:

hobbitkaiju:

tired-gay:

i wish there was more talk on tumblr about hypersexuality as a response to trauma, tbh. i see a lot of talk about asexuality and sex-repulsion due to trauma, but i rarely see people talk about the opposite. idk, its a difficult subject i suppose

Hypersexuality as a result of trauma can happen because you start believing you’re not good for anything else but sex. Because you believe you can’t expect love without it. Because you believe sex is the only way anyone could possibly connect to others. Because sex is the only kind of intimacy you’re “any good at”. Because you don’t know how else to get attention. Because it’s easier to get sex than love. Because cuddling after sex is the only way you know how to get nonsexual physical touch. Because you’re high/drunk all the time. Because you have no libido/desire/attraction anymore and keep hoping that having sex will kickstart it. Because you’re good at sex and it’s the only way to get recognition and respect. Because you were told that you’re “bad at sex” and you feel ashamed and are trying to “get better at it.” Because you have flashbacks if you abstain from sex. Because you feel wordlessly desperate/scared/anxious if you don’t have sex for a certain period of time. Because you associate sex with danger and you don’t believe you’re allowed to be safe. Because you feel so bad so much of the time that sex/orgasm is the only way to calm down or feel good anymore. Because you’ve been re-targeted by other abusers/perpetrators who can tell you don’t know how to say no. Because you’re still with your abuser/rapist/perpetrator and the only way to prevent “worse” violence is to initiate sex. Because sex is physically or emotionally painful for you and you’re using sex to self-harm. 

Hypersexuality after trauma is way more common than anyone wants to believe, and it can happen for so, so many different reasons. These are just a few. 

Felt I had to reblog the above as it’s important and struck a nerve.

As a diagnosed hypersexual and someone who’s first sexual experience was non-consensual at the hands of older women* a lot of this rings true. As a confused, naive  and slightly autistic kid, I didn’t know what was happening and to understand that sex this way wasn’t intimacy or love or affection. That I didn’t have to do this to gain approval or be liked.

I’m still hypersexual, my libido is still through the roof and it forms a large part of who I am as a person. But I’ve embraced it and am in charge of it in a positive way.

I hope anyone else who went through something similar can find solace in knowing you’re not alone.

*but men can’t be victims! Sounds like a fantasy come true… yeah yeah, heard it before.