swallowtailed:

donkamatic:

back when i was a freshman in high school there was this one art project involving hot wax so we had a huge vat of it outside of the classroom and kids were like sticking stuff in it and playing with pieces so as soon as i saw it i went OOH WAX and literally stuck my entire hand in it

and my teacher SCREAMED and several students yelled out some “oh my god”’s and i realized why as soon as my hand was submerged because that shit was very very hot but i didn’t want to be known as the dumbass who stuck their hand in burning hot wax and suffered an injury so instead of pulling my hand out and screaming i somehow managed to keep a straight face and just went “what?” and my teacher was just like “oh my god… that’s really hot wax, are you okay?” and i was just like “oh? it is? i can’t feel a thing” and just kept my hand in there for like a solid 30 seconds in excruciating pain before pulling it out

that was honestly the most fierce power move i ever pulled 

my uncle is a historical reenactor. a couple years ago he was working at a blacksmith’s shop in a reenactment town and some guy came in, saw the forge fire, and said, “haha, that’s not a real fire.”

“no,” said the real actual blacksmith working the real actual forge, “that’s a real fire that i’m using to forge things. please stay behind the rope sir.”

“that’s a fake fire and i’ll prove it,” said this rando, and leaned over the rope and stuck his hand directly into the coals. according to my uncle you could hear him screaming across the town. moral of the story: don’t.