I wish my dad didn’t hang up my old school pictures.

I’m very on the fence about whether or not I want T and/or surgery, but I feel like if I don’t, I won’t be taken seriously as a grown man. I’m 18, 5'2", scrawny as all hell, I have a feminine face and I just hate it. Especially my lips. I want to rip them off my face and burn them. My dad doesn’t take me seriously as a man because I’m small and I like pink and cute stuff and pastels and plushes. He doesn’t even call me by name. I just want to be respected and accepted as any other man, but I feel like I would never get that as I am.
I hate my chest, but I’m okay with what’s south of the border(I’m also asexual, so it’s not like anyone else is gonna use it). I don’t know what to do.